(no subject)

[voicesofspirits]

This week has been very difficult. It's been a lot to take in. Only now am I feeling like I can somewhat write about it here.
... it's just hard to believe that I'll probably never get to see any of them again.
But things needed to be fixed. They needed to be balanced. If it hadn't, the result of it would of been a lot worse... and not just for me.
I know they'll be fine... and a part of me is there with them.

...I guess at least... I don't have to worry about such an uncertain future anymore...

----------------------------

Event

*Ruka can be found sitting on a bench in the park. She is looking down at a card in her hand, completely lost in thought. Occasionally, she looks up and looks at her arm where her signer mark used to be with a forlorn look on her face.
It looks like she needs some company.*

Comments

[cuterthancute]

::So, Ruka, you see someone land from the air, wearing gauntlets and a demonic helmet and chest armor with a long red braided ponytail.::

... Ruka? Is everything alright?

::... What the.::

[voicesofspirits]

*Ruka looks up at the person who just LANDED FROM THE AIR in silent surprise. It seems like she might not quite recognize you with your outfit on.
But it seems to of taken her mind briefly off what was bothering her.*

Er...

[cuterthancute]

...

???

::They tilt their head approaching you.::

Is something wrong? You look upset.

[voicesofspirits]

*Ruka looks puzzled, though she seems to somewhat recognize the voice. After thinking on it for a bit, it seems to click with her on who this might be.*

...Shinoko...? Is that you under there...?

[cuterthancute]

... Under...?

::...:: Oh. Sorry.

::Takes the helmet off, as it vanishes into thin air.::

Sorry. But is everything alright, you look miserable.

[voicesofspirits]

*Ruka sighs and looks back at the card she's holding.*

... things aren't really alright, but there's nothing that can really be done.

[Event]

[seaandsky]

*oh he definitely saw your post. And he got understandably very worried about you.

In fact he was just on his way to SAI to see if you were there, when he ended up spotting you at the park instead, as he goes up to you, the obvious concern all over his expression*

Ruka...?

Re: [Event]

[voicesofspirits]

*Ruka looks up from the card she's holding and spots Shinji, looking at him with a bit of surprise on her face.*

Shinji.

*She tries to put on a smile for him, but it's obvious that it's rather forced.*

Re: [Event]

[seaandsky]

*... he sighs a little, at least relieved that you're uh. Not in any terrible state-- it's a good thing you're out here at least and not like, locked up at home or crying, but he knows that smile is forced.*

... I saw your post. What happened?

Re: [Event]

[voicesofspirits]

I... *She breaks off momentarily, looking away slightly.*
...I was visited by the Crimson Dragon a few days ago. I found out about what happened the night my brother and friends disappeared.
As it turns out, I was never really left behind. Not on purpose anyway. It seems that my indecisiveness on where I really belonged caused the Crimson Dragon's power to split me apart when he went to transport us all back to our rightful timeline.
But... it caused an imbalance and it came to me to fix that imbalance, otherwise, myself, the part of me that's with my brother and friends and Shinoko would of all been erased.

In the end, the only choices I could make to right the balance was to either re-join back with my other self back in my original timeline, but have no memory of the last few years here... or stay here and give up my signer powers.

Re: [Event]

[seaandsky]

*... he sits down next to you, understanding fully what that last part means. it is quite a bit to take in, to be fair. though he's glad he got to hear it from you instead of a. different source.*

... How are you feeling?

Re: [Event]

[voicesofspirits]

*She gives out a small tired sigh.*

Right now...? Sort of... numb. I think I'm still processing what happened.
I was pretty upset when it happened, but Juudai was there with me through the entire thing, so I think just having him there helped. He's been a huge source of strength for me in the last few years.

[Journal]

[memoryistime]

... hey, uh. I know we haven't talked much, but.

Did something happen?

Re: [Journal]

[voicesofspirits]

It's a little complicated but...
... I was visited by the Crimson Dragon a few days ago and I had to make a choice to correct an imbalance that was affecting me, Shinoko... and another half of me that ended up with my friends back in the timeline I came from.

Long story short... I'm not a signer anymore.

Re: [Journal]

[memoryistime]

Oh, uh. Geeze, that...

My first gut feeling is that the Crimson Dragon was pretty cruel for giving you a choice like that, but... I guess at least you had the chance to make that choice, right? Though that doesn't make it any less hard, I'd figure.

... You ended up getting split, though? I know you're from another time or something, but...

Re: [Journal]

[voicesofspirits]

Yes. It seems because I was so strongly indecisive about where I really belonged, when the Crimson Dragon went to transport us all back, it's power accidentally split me apart.

Re: [Journal]

[memoryistime]

I guess, uh... that's a thing that might happen when you're dealing with something like this.

But... it's got to be surreal. You were a Signer for way longer than I even knew they existed. To just suddenly not be one? And to be cut off from what was your own time in that way?

... I... Guess what I'm trying to say is that I feel for you. Sorry.

Re: [Journal]

[voicesofspirits]

It is. It's very difficult to comprehend that it even happened. I still expect the mark to be there. It's also difficult knowing that I probably won't see my friends and brother again... that's definitely the hardest part... because I've spent the last two and a half years with hope that I'd be reunited with them again one day.
I hold comfort in knowing they're okay and that a part of me is still with them.
It's going to take time for this to stop hurting as much as it is right now. That feeling may never completely go away but...

... I have people here who care about me just as much as they do... and that makes it a little easier.

Thank you, Shian.

[kattobingore]

Hey, did something happen...?

[voicesofspirits]

Do you remember me telling you about the signers and about my friends and brother, Yuma?

[kattobingore]

Oh yeah! I remember that! You drew your brother's mark on my arm which you said was the heart, because it was important for someone to be the heart of a group!
I'd never forget something like that!!

[kattobingore]

Wait...
... are your brother and friends the ones you say you won't ever see again??
That can't be right!

[voicesofspirits]

It turns out that when the Crimson Dragon came to take us all back to our original time, because I was so undecided on what I wanted to do and where I really belonged, it's power ended up splitting me into two. The part that wanted to go with them and the part that wanted to stay here...
... but because of that there was an imbalance. I was never supposed to stay in this timeline, so the Crimson Dragon gave me two choices; either re-join with my other self back there and not remember the last two or so years here, or stay here and give up my powers as a signer.

I had to make a really quick decision, but in the end... I chose to give up my power and stay. Because they still have a part of me with them and... I didn't want to basically lose the person I've become here. It was still a really difficult choice to make... and I've essentially cut the last thing that tied me together with them...

[kattobingore]

But... that can't be it, right? There has to be some other way you can see them again!!

[voicesofspirits]

It okay, Yuma.
Maybe there could be. Maybe there won't, but if you read what I said to Shian on the matter, you can understand why even if a chance did come up for me to return or even talk to them, how confusing it would be for them... and I also don't know what consequences it could have.

Sometimes, there are things you have to just accept, in order to move on from them.